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the
current
Monday
Report
below!
This week's report by Marissa Ranello
Jazzbo Chandler: A Small Press
Walking Conundrum?
Is it safe to say that small press writers have the upper hand
on encouraging critical thought?
Because I have no idea what the hell anyone’s talking about
anymore.
Smile big and write something nasty for your fifteen minutes of
shame. C’mon! Give us a toothy grin and slam someone. Pick
your preference: women, Jews, blacks, fags. You can do it! It’s
the oldest trick in the closet! No wait, that’s your mother (see
how easy it is?).
We expect more from small press writers. Nobody expects their
favorite writers to be star-struck conformists that spew right-
wing-psycho-babble. But it happens.
A reader reads and a writer writes. A reader looks at a writer. A
writer watches himself being looked at. He gets off on it. He turns
himself into a spectacle. Take for instance, small press writer Jim
‘Jazzbo’ Chandler.
For those of you who are familiar with Jim Chandler, you know
he’s an excellent writer. He’s very devoted to his craft and he’s
been the editor of the zine Thunder Sandwich for 20+ years.
Chandler’s poems have appeared in numerous literary magazines
and anthologies, including the anthology The Outlaw Bible of
American Poetry.
‘Jazzbo’ Chandler’s a talented guy. But he is not now (nor has he
ever been) a literary outlaw. Oh, but how he tries. A recent blog
entry, written by Chandler, titled “Short Manifesto for A.D.
Winans,” is filled with absurd complaints about Muslims, gays,
liberals, welfare recipients, and anyone who doesn‘t support the
war in Iraq.
Chandler’s explosive temper shines like a brand new motor-home
in Tennessee when he writes: “I don't consider any "religion"
created by a child molester like Muhammad as a valid religion to
begin with. It's a fucking cult, albeit a huge one.” One can only
wonder why Jim Chandler spends his time publicly humiliating
himself on the internet. It’s pretty obvious that he has lost his
connection to reality. Please hang up and try again Jazzbo!
What reason, if any, did Chandler have to title the rant
“Manifesto for A.D. Winans?”. Those who know A.D. Winans
know that he’s a pretty level-headed writer with over 500
publications under his belt. At the age of seventy, Winans logs on
to his computer to find an explosive ‘manifesto’ with his name
written all over it. Oy vey. Did A.D. Winans do something to
offend Jim Chandler? The suspense is killing you, isn’t it?
A single email, sent by A.D. Winans, about civilians in Iraq,
caused Chandler to fly off the handle. Who knew that Jim
Chandler, the pro-war, Muslim hating, sixty-five year old writer,
had a beef other writers that didn’t share his ‘world view’
(whatever world that is)? Is this not the same Jim Chandler that
flaunts a placid photograph with Billy Collins (a poet AGAINST
the war) on his Myspace profile? Talk about hypocritical! But he
sure cleans up real pretty, doesn't he?
Chandler openly admits in his blog that he still supports the war
in Iraq. He gloats and his beef-filled belly jiggles when he thinks
that we can “have a war somewhere that will draw all these head-
cutting fucking idiots to one place where we can kill them.”
Ahem…please unleash the liberal lapdogs and let them bite this
man in the nuts.
Here’s to Jim Chandler’s fifteen minutes of shame. Kudos Jim!
Your stale overconfident way of thinking is not an anomaly but
rather the model of the great American jack-off.. A walking
conundrum, another cog in the machine, Jim Chandler tightens
his near-septuagenarian bolts as he peers out from his box of
conformity.
Like a Jack in the Box, Chandler suddenly leaps out to scare the
Bejesus out of young writers, "I don't care who fucks whose ass
or sucks whose dick in the confines of their own privacy," he
shouts, as he tapes a 'no Muslims, no fags, no logical thinkers'
sign to his box. Muslim writers turn away in disgust,
homosexuals piss on his box of conformity, logical thinkers rip
the saturated box to shreds. Chandler clutches his bible and
American flag and writes a poem about it.
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ULAer Marissa Ranello is the editor of Antipatico.
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