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current
Monday
Report
below!
This week's report by Leopold McGinnis, ULA
The Demi-Puppet Hunter Goes North!
G’Day everybody and welcome to Demi-Puppet Hunter with your host
Leopold McGinnis. I must admit, I don’t run in literati circles
too much. The air’s just a bit, how do you say…stuffy. I prefer
the great, natural wildlife writers myself.
Ah well, but today we have a special episode of Demi-Puppet
Hunter for you. Today we journey to a land of mystery where
relatively little is known, in Demi-Puppet Hunting circles, about
the literary scene. Certainly, the Canadian literary wilderness –
if Canadian popular opinion is to be believed – is a veritable
cesspool of raw, organic talent, forged from the very frontier
ice of the tundra, carved from the Canadian Shield, fused with
the tenacity of Lumberjack backhair or some such!
Yes! Today we’re hunting the ever-elusive ‘New & Established
Writer’ Lit journal. Scientists the world over are claiming that
this extirpated species is most probably extinct. But if rumours
are to be believed, we might be able to find one here that
actually does publish new writers in this cultured land! Wouldn’t
that be a find! A last stronghold of democratic lit!
Crikey! Here comes a contender now! Let’s move in closer for a
better look!
Ah yes, this is the well-known Canadian species: The Malahat
Review. Notice by the markings on its exterior that this is the
winter 2004 issue. The Malahat Review has a reputation for
publishing emerging and established talent. Why, it even says so
on their website under editorial vision:
“[The Malahat Review’s] aim is to discover the most promising of
the new writers and publish their work along with that of the
best established writers...” (http://www.malahatreview.ca/philosophy.htm)
Well, that’s quite a promising claim! Let’s see how this specimen
holds up. Hmmm, of 28 contributors…27 have been previously
published in major journals or presses. It’s unclear whether the
one ‘unpublished’ author is actually unpublished, since their bio
gives little information. Of all the contributors, 6 assert their
writing ‘training’ in their bio. It can be assumed that most of
the writers have this training, however.
Hmmm. Disappointing. Clearly this creature is not the ‘New &
Established’ lit journal it claims to be, weighted so heavily,
entirely almost, on system-bred writing. But don’t give up hope,
in the Canadian wilder—
Oh my gosh! Here comes another one now!! Quite the exciting day
on Demi-Puppet Hunter! Yes. Yes. This is the common Event lit
journal. You’ll notice on this species’ epidermal that the words
‘New & established writers’ is part of the masthead. Lets flip
this little bugger over and see how he holds up. You can even
participate in this one, visit here for the list of contributors
to issue 33-2.
Certainly, with such bold markings on its epidermis, the Event
species 33-2 will prove better than the Malahat Review. Let’s
see. Of 36 contributors…the number of those published who haven’t
previously been pre-approved by other lit-journals, aren’t
graduates or teachers of MFA programs and aren’t students of the
journal’s college itself…are…what the?! None?! Crikey! What’s
going on here?! That’s even worse than the last one!! I could
have…I swear…but look at the markings! Good lord, one of the
writers is even a ‘Fellow in Poetry’!!
Well, that certainly threw me for a loop! I was certain we’d
uncovered evidence of healthy, living writing in Canada. Well,
you know how it is with these things. Just takes time. Why, look
at this enterprising fellow over here: The Antigonish Review.
Again, we find the consistent markings common in the species:
“For nearly thirty years, The Antigonish Review has consistently
published fine poetry and prose by emerging -- and established --
writers. Their writing would not have been as readily available
had it not been for the efforts of this review.”
(http://www.antigonishreview.com/index.html)
However, considering today’s earlier exhibits, you’ll excuse this
old Demi-Puppet Hunter for being a bit skeptical. Clearly, these
claims are an adaptation by the more hostile Demi-Puppet species
to imitate the mild native writer. By posing under this disguise,
these journals can compete unfairly for resources, choking out
native species and swallowing up grant money. But let’s not
forejudge the Antigonish Review: Ok little feller, let’s have a
look at you.
My, my. Yes. Well, out of 35 contributors…29 are previously
published in noteworthy journals, or somehow ingrained within the
current industry. A whopping 10 of those freely admit to
‘training’ at colleges or university. 4 could be considered to be
truly native, untrained, non-prescribed writers. Well, that’s
certainly better than the species that had ‘new & established’ as
part of its masthead! Not particularly promising, though. Yet,
while the ratio is still heavily slanted towards demi-puppetry,
at least they are marginally entitled to their claim! Go free
little one. Go free.
Hmmm, unfortunately, it seems, from this limited little foray
today, that the tales of great Canadian literature running free
and unrestrained are highly exaggerated. The Canadian writer
seems to suffer no less than writers in nearby habitats.
Certainly, if the ‘New & Emerging’ lit journal is not extinct, it
is certainly endangered…
But don’t fret too much, Demi-Puppet Hunter fans, as is common
with these sort of shifts, the endangered species goes
underground to regroup. Small and hidden, the wild writer needs
much less food to survive while the Demi-Puppets grow fat and
lazy. The meek, native writer can grow quite vicious when it
feels its lifeblood threatened. Certainly, right now, these
lovable creatures are grouping together, cooperating, and lying
in wait to strike back, regain their homeland from the
encroachers and thrive once again. Yes, that will certainly make
for an exciting episode.
But until then, this has been another episode of Demi-Puppet
Hunter. See you all next time when we explore the strange and
bizarre world of Demi-Puppet droppings, commonly referred to as
‘award winning poetry and prose.’
G’Day mates!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Check out www.gamequestnovel.com, a fun new project
updated every Friday by Leopold McGinnis.
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