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The ULA Monday Report!   This week's report by Steve Kostecke & Leopold McGinnis      Still Crazy – Notes from the ULA Asian Conclave

Steve Kostecke & Leopold McGinnis holding an international teleconference with King Wenclas

A view of Tokyo at night

The grasp of the ULA Godzilla reached the shores of the Land of the Rising Sun this past week – meaning none other than the ULA’s Asian Conclave convened, proving once again that the ULA is fun, dedicated, and ever so slightly whack. To break out of the stifling suffocation of the North American lit scene, Leopold McGinnis traveled as far as possible from the source of the sickness (apologies to Yul Tolbert for not yet having a Mars Conclave) to discuss the future of the Underground Lit Scene with ULA Editor-in-Chief Steve Kostecke. What other lit group makes decisions from Asia? The Paris Review isn’t even in Paris – but the ULA Asian Conclave took place in Tokyo for five days of drinks, decisions, debate, international tele-conferencing, ko-gals, bukkake videos, pink salons and simple karaoke. We have to ask: Could Plimpton carry a tune? Was he even capable of following the bouncing ball atop the lyrics of cheesy pop songs? We of the ULA highly doubt this.

"Kogals" like these go krazy for the ULA!

Commodore Perry and his "black ships" are burning in hell right now.

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Amongst the Towering Pre-Apocalypse metropolis of this Mega City,
the ULA took the occasion of the increased growth of the ULA and
success of the Philly Show to discuss what’s next: the future of
the ULA as it were. In our never-ending efforts to make the ULA as
strong and efficient as possible, the ULA was deconstructed,
reexamined and then reconstructed. Despite being a decentralized
group of constantly changing members and conflicting opinions –
which often create roadblocks for progress as well as incredible
opportunities for success – and despite the fact that ULA members
have as much in common as they do in difference – it was easily
reconfirmed that the ULA is still the only organization of its
kind and our goal is relevant not only to our members and to the
underground at large, but to the entire future of the lit’rature.
The ULA simply cannot go away. We may make mistakes, we may piss
each other off along the way, but there is no denying that the ULA
is needed in a scene that continues to drag everything around it
in a downward spiral.  

And: despite essentially being a bunch of nice guys, the ULA
reconfirmed that nice guys finish last, and resolved to be less
nice in the dog eat innocent fluffy anime-eyed rabbit scene of the
lit world.

The full potential of the “Best of the ULA” book (which is in the
works) was once again reaffirmed, and a reorganization of the book
is in progress in order to better reflect the talent and literary
importance of the ULA and to seek a new publisher for this sure to
be crucial, generation-defining tome of Lit & Letters.

Now back to the sake...