Synopsis for THE BITCHES OF SAM                                                                       by James Nowlan (courtesy of the ULA Adventures blog) My concept for The Bitches of Sam finds its inspiration in numerous sources. Russ Meyer’s film Faster Pussycat Kill, Kill, the Manson Family, the films of Jean Luc Godard, my own experiences working as a security guard in Paris, and the television series and film Charlie's Angels. It’s the story of three kickboxing transexuals (I’m not going to use real transexuals but rather women with protheses, I’d like to get Paris and Nicky Hilton and Heather Graham for these roles) working for a mysterious government organization called "The Ranch" whose mission is to eliminate the enemies of America’s ideological and economic interests in Europe and especially France. The film starts with an introduction by "X" a mysterious cowboy dressed like the Lone Ranger and looking and talking like William Burroughs. He explains that after 9/11 the USA was forced to find new ways of dealing with threats to its values and freedoms. Unconventional groups were set up to deal with our enemies. These groups might be anywhere--skiing in the Alps, sunbathing on the côte d’azur, or driving along in a convertible through the French countryside. Cut to three attractive young women in a cabriolet cruising down a narrow road that winds through vineyards. They might be any young American girls on summer vacation and are bobbing their heads in time to a Serge Gainsbourg YéYé tune "Hey There Mister Chic Habit." They see a muscular suntanned man at the side of the road and stop to give him a ride. He gets in the car with a smile. Without being asked he starts to outline his political philosophy. He feels that bourgeois feminism is the number one barrier to the workers revolution. For the present power structure to be overturned women must accept a subordinate role and acknowledge that men are the leaders in the proletariat’s struggle. The girls say that they would like to fight in the revolution as well. He offers to show them how. They stop the car and the macho Marxist jumps out. The bitches follow; he gets into a martial arts stance and the shemales quickly overwhelm him and after beating him down forcibly sodomise him. The bitches get back in their car and drive away leaving the pinko weeping with his pants down. They get to the temporary headquarters set up by X. He gives them the rundown on the region and the difficulties that they are facing. They are having trouble with a local group that wants to block the opening of an American fast food restaurant, called "Murder Burger" a concept restaurant where the food is named after American serial killers, the Bundy Burger, the Son of Sam Dog, etc., and you kill your own cow or pig by hitting it on the head with a sledge hammer or cutting its throat. They go to the site where the restaurant is opening and a crowd is gathered to disrupt the ceremony. They are led by a man in a Mexican wrestling mask and held in check by the the CRS (La Compagnie Républicaine de Sécurité French riot police) and a band of American rent-a-thugs called the Stankertons who are dressed like sheriffs in a western and mounted on horse back with their revolvers in one hand and their whips in the other. X berates the chief of the CRS for not being aggressive enough. Saying that he does not take orders from men dressed up for "le carnaval de mardis gras" he lines his men up and marches them off. The crowd led by the masked man overwhelms the Stankertons and trashes the newly opened Murder Burger. X and his bitches look on helplessly. At a traditional festival later the same evening they watch a sort of ritual combat in which the masked man participates. He defeats all comers and wins a trophy. They approach him later in a café where he is celebrating and after encouraging him to drink they lead him stumbling back to his house where he passes out to wake up naked in his bed to discover to his horror that he has spent the night with three shemales and shamefully lost his hardwon manhood. They leave him crushed and humiliated and go back to the Murder Burger that is now being hastily repaired. The broken ex-fighter roams in the mountains until he comes upon a chapel lost in the mist. Going inside he enters the confessional and recounts all that has happened to a priest hidden behind a curtain. The priest explains that manhood is not meant to be a source of vainity but rather an expression of God’s grace and that by serving God one can recover his lost masculinity. He then reveals that he himself is an expert in traditional forms of combat and will train the masked combatant. While the girls and X use Murder Burger as the citadel of their campaign to oppress the people of the region the priest trains the fighter. When he is ready he comes down from the mountain to challenge them. The people are shocked that he offers to fight with the women since they do not know that they are not truly female but the bitches accept and the combat is scheduled to take place the same evening. The bitches use every dirty trick they know but by relying on the wisdom of the ancient priest warrior the masked fighter defeats them tearing the clothes from their bodies to reveal the truth of their sexual identity. The enraged townfolks tie up the shemales to burn them at the stake. But just before the brave transexuals are consumed by the flames X rides in with the Stankertons cracking their whips and firing their pistols into the air they cut the bitches lose and ride away with them into the mountains.